Step Family And How To Cope With Changes
Step families are becoming more and more popular these days with some children having 4 or more adults in their lives that they see as parents or step parents. Step parent doesn’t mean that they replace the original parent but that they are a partner of a biological parent after the original relationship between the parents has ended.
But when you’re on the outside looking in, it can be very hard. I am talking from the point of view of the non parent. In other words, the person with whom the parent makes a new relationship with. It can be very hard for them to bond and become part of this suddenly created family situation.
They may find that the children do not want them in their lives, maybe that they have been the instigator that split their parents up in the first place. The parents however need to explain to the children that this isn’t the case. The step parent then has to work out ways to bond, this may be sharing their love of cake decorating books to helping the kid with their homework.
However you go about this and whatever you may share in common it is best not to force or push this process. You’ll often find that letting the child set the pace is a good idea. Do not let them walk all over you though, your partner as the parent must let the kid know that you are an adult who is there to make sure rules are followed just like they would.
Even if you have a busy lifestyle and might find you’re spending your spare time with your new partner, don’t forget his or her children. Try and set some time aside for you all to do something together or even just you and the child, share cake decorating tips, bake something, or even go out to the park and show just how much fun you can be!
As time goes on you’ll find that you and the child or children will really start to bond, it is a natural process and you can’t force how long it takes but it will get easier. Remember to share your ideas with them, show them how to decorate cake or even how to score in a football game!
And for the parent, always make sure to let the child or children know that you are there for any questions you have. No matter how young they are they will want to ask you things, be as open and honest as possible and let them know as much as you feel they need to at the time.